Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
