Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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