I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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