I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
