My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
