I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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