My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
