i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
