Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
