let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
