New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
