forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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