you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize