A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Two words: nipple clamps
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