Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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