I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
