I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
