You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
wow bdsm is so cute
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
