From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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