I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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