I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
