i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
