We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
