She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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