Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
Two words: nipple clamps
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