i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
