Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize