She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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