so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
