I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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