I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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