fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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