this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
