Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
