you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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