tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
