Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
