I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Porn is love you can see.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize