Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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