Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
