I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize