sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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