So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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