I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
