Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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