He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
