Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
