happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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