Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
