mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
