This girl is more easily done than said...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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