You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
