I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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