What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize