in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
