I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
