what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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