I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
