How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
