summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
