would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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