You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
