On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
