oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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