my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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