Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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