well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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